Christmas Eve Boot Camp

this is Kleon...he is a lot of fun to have around
the sun finally came out in San Diego

Jason was wearing some SHORT shorts

Jingle Bell Run

Pulling tires for 15 minutes HARD WORK

Pulling Becky for 15 minutes also HARD WORK

Our group photo...quickly becoming a holiday/boot camp tradition

For the past almost 2 weeks (since my brother died) I have been having a very hard time with life in general. Which is to be expected. I got a bad migraine the day before he passed and since then suffered from almost a constant headache varying in severity. I knew it was related to stress/sadness. I was also just in a general funk....definitely did not want to do anything but lay in my bed. I certainly did not want to go to work. I spent the past 2 weeks going through the motions feeling like I was trying to reintroduce myself to normal life. I took my son to bowling, went to dinner with a friend, went to work, did the gym. Nothing felt right or good about any of it really. Thursday I did not want to work, the night before my headache had been so bad at work and I was just miserable having to be there. I left early and went to bed after I had slept all day!!

Luckily my doctor (who I love) had an appointment. I went to see her explained everything and she said sometimes a severe migraine can trigger a series of headaches like I had. She said if I took a shot it could break the cycle and hopefully relieve the pain. She also said given the circumstance everything I was experiencing was TOTALLY NORMAL!!! She also excused me from work that night. :-)

I have to say that the shot did exactly what she said and I have been pain free since then. Which was a good thing since we had Christmas Eve Boot Camp in the morning.

We did a 4 mile jingle jangle run (jingle bells on our shoes). I am telling you that no matter how hard I try I am the slowest everytime by a lot. I sure hope my running club and weight loss challenge help with this!!! No one ever makes me feel bad about my pace and Jason encourages me that I am doing good. Then we did drills, plyometrics (don't even really know what that means), ending with abs in the sand!!!

I have to say afterwards I felt incredible. Better then I have felt since I lost my brother!! I think the combo of no more headache and getting in a good tough butt kicking gave me some spark back.

I am sure this won't last forever but it was good to feel like my old self again.

I napped later in the day, went to Christmas Eve service and spent some time with good friends and yummy food. Too bad after such a great work out I ended the day with a huge piece of the most delicious tiramisu cake!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

San Diego Storm Watch 2010

The news always makes a huge deal when a little rain falls in San Diego. This is one of the few times it was actually a pretty nasty unrelenting storm. So I'd be ok if they launched the Storm Watch campaign. I moved last year to Mission Valley which is infact in the valley and like a stones throw from the Stadium AND San Diego River. Both of which flood in any rain more then a drizzle. My actual complex and apartment are on a hill and never in danger of flooding the worst we see is the streets flooding around us with only one way in and out of the neighborhood (up hill away from the river).

So I went to Boot Camp on Wed. (run day which was NOT gonna happen cause it was raining heavily). I was so sleepy didnt even see that half the parking lot was roped off until I almost ran into the rope. My YMCA (Mission Valley YMCA) also runs along the river which had over flowed and was now rushing along the vacant lot adjacent to the building AND through 50% of the parking lot. I parked in the last spot before the rope...then thought for a second probably should move to higher ground. (Thank God I did because later when we left the gym an hour later the water had risen and the car that DID park there was half under water). There was no sidewalk left either we had to walk through the water to get to dry ground.

So Boot Camp was inside since we could not run...it was same ol' same ol'....I must say I miss my boot camp buddie who is traveling for the holidays.

Anyway right in the middle of our circuits the power went completely out in the whole gym (I wonder what that was like on the tredmill???).
Jason was sort of at a loss what to do, he ran to the front desk and came back said it may be the whole street that is out. We had all migrated towards the windows as there was light coming from the windows and exit signs. Jason was sort of baffled what to do then said alright lets keep going....if you want to...and we did 3 sets of 16 push ups. Of course everyone kept going. Turns out if you are crazy enough to go to boot camp @ 5:30am you are crazy enough to do push ups in the dark.
The lights came back on and we continued the circuits. Eventually there was one more momentary outage then the lights stayed on until we finished.

pain is temporary...failure is forever

I'm not sure if I finished my point in the last blog. I dozed off while typing it and sorta closed it off real fast. Anyway I was trying to say that I think I'm going to be writing a lot about losing my brother, the incredible loss & pain I am feeling and how God is going to carry me through this trial as He has many times before.

Today is one week since my brother died. I can not believe it has been a week. It flew by because we were so busy planning the memorial. I took the week off work & it was crazy how busy each day was.
I went back to worl last night. I did not feel like I was ready to go back. I wanted more time BUT the other side of that coin is it is not gonna get any easier to go back. I went through the motions & did my shifts. Thank God I have a mindless, easy job that requires little effort to do.
Today was my return to boot camp. This was almost harder. First of all bootcamp is 530a-640a...so I kept thinking the moment it is over is exactly the time my brother passed 6:43am.a few of my BC buddies are friends on Facebook or they heard from Krystle about my brother. I got a hug & another said how sorry they were. I got teared up and said thank you but I don't wanna talk about it I just wanna sweat!
I think today I was sweating tears cause I was sweater than normal. It was a brutal workout & Jason (who also knew what happened) showed me NO mercy. Which is GOOD! My mind & heart were distracted most the workout. I imagine I will be sore tomorrow.
I'm glad I went back...its the same as working its not gonna get easier the longer I stay away. So the bandaids are ripped off I'm getting back to normal (well the NEW normal).
I also signed up for the San Diego Striders running club. They train you to do the marathon.
The challenge with this is gonna be getting someone to watch my kids every Sat morning for the 7am runs.

sometimes you gotta run.......

I know the blog is called becoming a triathlete AND I am tri-Kate.....but I have a feeling it's gonna take on a different them this next year.

I know that I have actually done 2 sprint distance triathlons and my next one is a few months away. Yet I still dont feel like I could legitimately call myself a triathlete. Kinda the same as I got in another size smaller pants and dont feel like I look any different. I still see a fat girl in the mirror. I cant imagine if I met someone and said I'm a triathlete....but in a way I am right??? People keep telling me I look great and I dont see it. I hope that changes. As I write and read this I think it is apparent I have some serious self esteem and confidence issues.

With my brother losing his battle to leukemia this past week it feels like a huge shift is going to happen. I never in a million years knew that it (losing my brother) would feel this way....
Not to seem insenitive or like a horrible person but my brother was a quirky guy and we didnt always get along like 2 peas in a pod. That being said there was no hostility or bad feelings we just were pretty different. Differences didnt stop the bond of being siblings or the love you have for someone that has been a part of your entire life. Something I have been made even more aware of. There is this huge void in my life and heart already. Not to mention he was my kids Uncle and that is a void for them.

Some things definitely changed when he was sick. It was like he softened his heart more towards me and everyone really. He let down some of his walls and made himself more vulernable. I was blessed to stay with him that night in the hospital and care for him BUT if also gave me the chance to show him and myself the love I have for him.

As I said before I know that I will be racing in his honor now but I also feel like doing this having a plan and purpose to focus on and the amount of time it takes will help me heal. I certainly hope!!

This past week I was swamped planning his memorial service with my sister. It was so much to do!! I took the week off of work and it ended up being a week off from the gym. I wanted to go everyday but I just never had time. I made it one day for like 20 min and ran/walked barely 2 miles. I was discouraged. The last thing I want is a set back or to get behind in training/fitness levels. Besides I ate terrible all week and I know it will catch up with me.

Yesterday was my brother's memorial. I woke up and wanted to go for a run. First of all to stay on track and second because I need the time to clear my head and sweat things out. I tried to go to the lake by my parents but it was pitch black and kinda scary. So I bailed that place, got the gym and they were closed until 7a. I was then headed down to the bay....wondering what is wrong with me just go home!!! It was literally an hour of driving around before I got to the bay. Once I started running it felt awesome. I got my favorite worship songs playing and I kept running and running. I eneded up doing the 4.5 miles i was supposed to with energy to spare. Some people may think badly that I excercised on his memorial day. The thing is I felt like if i didnt go today I may never bgo. It was exactly what I needed some time alone with God. it was probably hands down my best run ever. It helped give me confidence I will get through this all while God heals my heart and that I will finsih that race.

Thank you Jesus for the comfort and love only you can give

i found my why....

This is something I have been struggling with....why....why am I training for more races? I was asked this before my last triathlon & at the time I didn't know God slowly revealed to me the work he was doing. BUT the thing is I feel like it was done & I wasn't clear why I'm still training.
The obvious reasons is the health benefits & I actually enjoy it...but I was looking for this bigger spiritual meaning.
I may have mentioned in previous posts (& its not like all my "followers" aren't dear friends) but my brother was battling leukemia & lost that battle 12-13-2010 after just four months of illness. As soon as he got sick I knew it would be a motivation to race in his honor. I never expected it would be in his memory. The moment I finished signing up for the San Diego Rock n Roll marathon my mom contacted me & told me my brother's condition had taken a turn for the worse. The next night I offered to him to stay with him overnight. THANK GOD I did!!! My brother was a fighter!!! He was not ready to give up. I stayed up with him all night. I tried to help him get comfortable (which was impossible), wiped his constant bleeding nose, tried to keep him cool, listened to him struggle with every breath & try to explain me his delusions, all the while he was slowly declining. I know it was the hardest longest night of both our lives.
Everytime he woke up he called to me & I popped up...talk about endurance on both our parts. Finally he was ready & allowed the Drs to give him medicine to help him pass comfortably.
What I realized while being there with him was I had a lesson to learn & a purpose to gain.
I learned about courage, bravery, the true fighting spirit, & love! The last words we spoke to each other was "I love you" Thank you Jesus!
So now I get it...I had already been approached by several people that are running this race (1/2 & full marathon) to dedicate it to my brother OF COURSE! But now I know when I'm struggling through those miles that I have the example set by my brother! I know that nothing I experience the pain, exhaustion, emotions will ever compare to his fight. I will finish this race for him to honor his memory & the love he had for me & my kids & for the lesson he taught me.

my deleted blog

Gosh that was SO frustrating!!! The thing is it is totally my fault for writing my blog via blackberry. I do not like to get on my computer...I just seem to lose precious time when I get on there. So many distractions. It is wierd how I have to use every second of every day now as a single mom.
There still is not enough time to do everything. Its usually the cleanliness of my home that suffers (its not gross but definitely not ever as tidy as I prefer).
So what did I write about.
I wrote about what a fan of the Biggest Loser I am. That show has always inspired me! This is probably the first season I didn't watch every single episode while stuffing my face & actually am doing physical activity. I relate so much to what the contestants experience. The way they conquer challenges they never knew they could. They find strength within themselves. Most of all they have this mental/emotional transformation which is totally what I needed & experienced through my last tri. (God has given new purpose for my future races we will cover later).
Also watching the reunion episode when 33 past contestants did an olympic distance triathlon WOW!!! That is twice the distance I'm going! These are people who were HUGE & now they are triathletes!!! So amazing. Also each season they have the biggest loser marathon well now that I am doing my first marathon it really sucked me into their experience. To watch these contestants finish (most faster then I'm able) when only months earlier they were 100 pounds plus or minus heavier makes me see that all you need is the will to finish!
I remember in a past season watching one contestant swear they could not jump on a box step. Its a platform maybe 2 feet high & you jump both feet straight up onto it and down. This was me in boot camp!!! Something in me kept saying I can't! I was afraid I wouldn't clear the top & crash! 3 different times I just stepped up & down instead. All the while remembering watching the same this on BL. So finally the next time it was box jump time I just went for it & you know what I DID IT!!!!! It is an amazing feeling to overcome a fear & do something that previously you thought there was no way you could!
The other things I shared about was last week on run day we had a new guy. He was so chipper @ 530am & jazzed we were going for a run. He had on his race tee from whatever marathon he had done & to be honest was a fast runner....that is until a 1/2 mile into our run he hit a curb & went flying through the air & crashed down!!!! Everyone gasped. He popped back up & kept going (I'm sure embaressment fulled that). I kept thinking Jason our instructor was probably freaked out having someone hurt on his watch. The guy was a trooper finished the run & all of the work out. BUT he did live out my biggest fear falling on the first day of class. I still worry about falling but now everyone is my friend as I am a regular & it wouldn't be quite as embaressing!
I also shared about Friday mornings new person. Jason called her Sandy (turns out her name was Stacy-Jason felt bad). She was an older bigger lady I guess Jason knew her from the last weightloss challenge. She started out with us & as soon as the warm up was almost over she tried to leave! Jason went after her!!!! That would be so hard for me!! He brought her back & yelled no one let Sandy leave!!! He encouraged her to go at her own pace do what she can but stick with it! Most new people that hang around notice that all of us struggle through the workout ITS BOOT CAMP!!! I was so proud of her that she did it!!! Everyone cheered her on! I think everyone at one point was the new person & remembers what it was like I SURE DO!! I hope she comes back! I can see the progress I have made & also have made some friendships (mostly facebook friends).
I think that was about it! I'm going to go right into another blog but will shut this one down now....

smartphone blogging

I typed a GREAT blog covering so much that happened this wekk & accidently hit delete instead of post.....sigh
I hope I find the time & my memory allows me to repost it!!!

Welcome to CRAZYTOWN

There is two parts to Crazytown....
my friend joined me for 5:30am Boot Camp today. On run day in less then 40 degree weather!!! So she joined all us crazy people!!!
The second part that is crazy is this woman I have watched transform herself (and her body) into a toned, tiny, amazing athlete said she had gotten into a rut for a few weeks and needed something to jump back into it and thought I know I will ask Katie.....WHAT?!?!?! Wow all I can say is that someone that I have looked up to and desired to follow in her lead joining me blew my mind.
Keep in mind even that she is still in much better shape than me so I explained before the run don't try to keep pace with me I am very slow. Just run your pace cause Jason peels back to get me (yes just me I told her). Lucky for her we did a flat 2 mile run (supposed to be quick but I slow the pace down). She of course ROCKED IT!! I was really tired today and had trouble getting going (plus it is COLD COLD COLD).
We got back to the gym and had plenty of time for drills. We did weights jump squats, front squats with press and rows. Then we did bands. I partnered with my friend and we did chest presses and then run backwards. The next drill was bear crawl and sprints. It was tough!!! Again she did awesome!!! It was a challenge for her but her fitness level is up there and she definitely held her own (and did better then me).
Then we did abs to end things off WHEW!!!
I definitely noticed a difference when I go work on less sleep. My shins felt much better today so it was probably good I took yesterday off. I think my insoles are helping too....although the tred on the bottom of my shoes is gone and I was sliding on the gym floor haha....
I'm praying for a "Christmas bonus" to get some much needed supplies, pay for races, the running club, etc
My friend said she will join me another run day!!