i found my why....

This is something I have been struggling with....why....why am I training for more races? I was asked this before my last triathlon & at the time I didn't know God slowly revealed to me the work he was doing. BUT the thing is I feel like it was done & I wasn't clear why I'm still training.
The obvious reasons is the health benefits & I actually enjoy it...but I was looking for this bigger spiritual meaning.
I may have mentioned in previous posts (& its not like all my "followers" aren't dear friends) but my brother was battling leukemia & lost that battle 12-13-2010 after just four months of illness. As soon as he got sick I knew it would be a motivation to race in his honor. I never expected it would be in his memory. The moment I finished signing up for the San Diego Rock n Roll marathon my mom contacted me & told me my brother's condition had taken a turn for the worse. The next night I offered to him to stay with him overnight. THANK GOD I did!!! My brother was a fighter!!! He was not ready to give up. I stayed up with him all night. I tried to help him get comfortable (which was impossible), wiped his constant bleeding nose, tried to keep him cool, listened to him struggle with every breath & try to explain me his delusions, all the while he was slowly declining. I know it was the hardest longest night of both our lives.
Everytime he woke up he called to me & I popped up...talk about endurance on both our parts. Finally he was ready & allowed the Drs to give him medicine to help him pass comfortably.
What I realized while being there with him was I had a lesson to learn & a purpose to gain.
I learned about courage, bravery, the true fighting spirit, & love! The last words we spoke to each other was "I love you" Thank you Jesus!
So now I get it...I had already been approached by several people that are running this race (1/2 & full marathon) to dedicate it to my brother OF COURSE! But now I know when I'm struggling through those miles that I have the example set by my brother! I know that nothing I experience the pain, exhaustion, emotions will ever compare to his fight. I will finish this race for him to honor his memory & the love he had for me & my kids & for the lesson he taught me.