Hills, hilly, hills

I won't go into detail about how the training meetings go in the morning...it's the same each week. I will tell you about my rides.
The first few bike work outs really just eased us into riding in a group, communicating, learning our bikes, etc.
On recommitment day everything got serious! Recommitment is when a few weeks in we have to decide if we are IN or OUT. If we are IN we had to show up with a signed contract basically saying we are good for the money if we don't reach our fundraising minimum by the deadline. (I am not worried about this...I think). We also had to decide if we want our other half of our hotel room for a guest and if this guest wants to attend the celebratory meals included in my travel. I filled out all the paperwork and turned it in PRIOR to doing the workout. Smart move TNT cause I may have refused to sign it AFTER doing Torrey Pines hill repeats!
The work out consisted of us cycling over to the top of Torrey Pines hill. We had to ride down "the old road" a windy, curvy, steep hill, with lots of walkers and vehicles going up it. Sort of a nature trail that is paved and open to traffic. I was literally pertrified with fear, my heart was pounding and I couldn't even think straight! Going down hill is so scary for me. The sensation of not being able to stop and the fear of falling over or crashing has gripped me. I went down with my mentor by my side, literally squeezing both brakes front and rear to the point of severe pain in my hand. I just couldn't let any speed happen, I wanted to be in complete control of my bike! Once we got safely to the bottom I had to take a moment to compose myself and shake out the hand cramps! The we started UP the hill!!! It was NOT easy!!! It was a slow steady pedal. Thank God for my granny gear (third front gear) it allows for some ease getting up hill. BUT you still have to keep pedaling and pedaling and pushing yourself. You definitely can not take a break and rest going up hill on bike, getting started going up hill would be SO HARD!
Once I got to the top I felt so triumphant! I had done something that scared the poop outta me (gone down the hill) & accomplished a challenging ride to the top! I was done and ready to call it a day. As I approched the area when coach was and stopped, he yelled DON'T STOP THERE! AHHHHH down I went, I lost my balance and fell right in the driveway. He didn't want me stopping in the driveway for that reason....luckily no cuts or bruises on that one.
So as I was ready to pedal back to my car and call it a day, he sent everyone back down. My mentor said lets go, I said no way...I wasn't given a choice :( I headed back down the dreaded hill. This time I tried to manuvere my hand so the dead grip was not as painful to no avail. She said to me, I have literally never seen anyone go down hill so slow before. YUP that is me the frightened triathlete. The uphill didn't worry me, I am never afraid of hard work. Once at the bottom it took me less time to compose myself (that is an improvment right). Back up we went. This time it was getting hotter and harder cause I was getting tired! Again finally reaching the top of the hill I was sure that I could bow out and head home because going down a third time made me wanna cry! BUT again NO CHOICE. This time Coach Sam (who is a former or coach of some other TNT group) decided he was going to help me get down the hill. OK Buddy good luck with that!!!! This time I actually used the second set of brakes on my bike that are on the upper handle bars. Most bikes don't have these and I have been told to remove them and get aero bars at some point. Using these made me feel so much more in control. I used a little less of my brakes and allowed the bike to get speed, I felt more in control of the bike so I felt better letting go a little. Sam talked me through the whole time and was very encouraging.
Then he rode with me to the top until almost all the way, then my chain seemed clackity clacking so I stopped. One of the mentors stopped and helped me realize I just haven't switched the gear all the way. I needed a little push to get going and then I finished my third trip up the hill! A few people went for a 4th run but I was more then happy to call it a successful day and head back to my car!!