The winning side of losing

I usually leave the weigh loss chronicles to my friend over at Chubby Diaries (awesome blog btw) but weight loss is also part of my journey & I want to share that as well.
I did so well last year when I did back to back challenges at the Y. (competitive much?!) I literally smashed the competition! This fall/winter I did terrible during the weight loss challenge I did online. Just for reference & cause I am not going to let the #s shame me (& I may be off doing this from memory)
First challenge Jan 2011 start weight 188 6 week final weigh in 166
Second challenge start was 167 final weigh in 154. After that I did get down to 150!!!! I wanted to see 140s so bad & something happened between champagne brunch, weddings, birthdays & the holidays...I slowly fell right back into old habits. It's a cycle that starts with one over indulgence, that leads to disappointment, to loss of self confidence, to depression, to not caring & giving up. Then the cliches come out: I will start over tomorrow, start Monday, after this event I will get back on it...yet the numbers go in wrong direction. During the past few months I let the scale get up to 167. That means all the weight I lost second challenge was back. I haven't forgotten how hard I worked or the dedication I put it. Makes it hard not to hate myself & be mad or disappointed.
I guess I can say thank God for new years & the ability that I found to get back "in the zone". The #s are headed in the right direction now! Weighed in today at 162...I can not wait to see the 150s again & be back in my size 8s!
As I struggled with back sliding I talked with a friend who also had great success in 2011 only to put the weight back on & now losing again. He had all the same emotions I did & was able to encourage me. He said concurring it the second time means even more then the first. It proves something to yourself & everyone what you are capable of AND you realize how easily it can all slip away.
I hope I've learned this lesson once & for all. I want to get the final push to goal weight & then learn to maintain it for life.
Looking back though I can't help but be so proud even where I am today