race day is TOMORROW!!!

So I didn't write all week because I went camping at the beach with my kids and a bunch of our friends. Going into this week I thought PERFECT place to get some training in. Monday I didn't train I had so much to do getting ready to leave & worked! Tuesday we got up to camp, got all set up & I did get on my wetsuit & get in the water. The suit totally works! I didn't feel the water temp AT ALL. The swell was pretty big but not huge waves like moonlit beach where I freaked out. So a friend & I were going out. (He had fins on). I never really got a good stroke going. I was once again slurping sea water, choking I think I tredded water most the way out there. So maybe 300 yards off shore he says let's go back in no stopping. I think ok I got this, going in is easier cause the current carries you. As soon as I try to head back in I feel like I'm going no where.& I full on panic! He had taken off & I was freaked out I was stuck & was gonna be left behind! I don't get how I can flip out like that! I mean I can tread water, float on my back whatever as long as I need. It's not like I was in danger but I was soooo fearful in that moment. The wetsuit made me immeadiately clausterphobic & I unzipped it out there in the middle of the ocean. It actually helped me breathe calmer. Then I swam in. I had a calf cramp & ended up back stroking my way in but geez what happened?!?! that experience only makes me see I need to keep at it, work harder & eventually I will master open water swimming in any and all conditions.

I really have gotten to the point of frustration with training. I was mentally done last week even though I am in fact not done. So it was hard to be motivated to do it while relaxing on the beach watching my kids play.
Then talking with a friend about training/fitness & how time lost takes double the time to get back...I thought I can't take time off! I won't be ready! So even though my heart & head weren't in it I got someone to watch the kiddos & went for a bike ride.BUT as I tried to top off the air in my tire...I deflated it AGAIN! I wanted to cry! I so didn't even wanna go & now this. I tried for like 20 minutes with the pump I got & no luck. Another girl let me use her bike which I reluctantly did. I tell you once I got going I felt incredible! I rode for about 30 minutes! It was hot too but I loved it being out on my own! Then when I got back I went for a 20min run! I was exhausted and hot (keep in mind I'm on 4 or 5 hours of terrible air mattress sleep). So I see a life guard tower like 5 feet away & think uh I will turn around there hahaha...but no I pushed myself farther and farther and got the whole 20min in!
So the next day Thurs I really had no plans to do anything...I'm really over this aren't I hahaha. But I did go to bed early because I know I need rest for this race. Anyway I ended up in the water swimming (without my wetsuit & goggles) with friends. It was so fun! But also worked on my stroke a little. When we got back to shore I said I'm gonna go for it & ran to the bike threw on my clothes & shoes & took off on the same 30 minute ride. My transition was fast (no wetsuit). It really boosted my confidence!
I didn't make it to any kind of workout yesterday/friday.
I was so busy coming home from camp, laundry, my sons bowling league (he got 1st place-shout out to bugs).
I'm glad I got the workouts I did because during each one I felt like yeah I can do this...now not so much but more about that later!